This picture was taken few years back before mohd, danish and sabryna pack their small backpacks to Perth...i had arranged a zoo outing for them..as if 3 of them not enough, we brought along daniel, aisha and ayu along....so very the KECOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i had just completed my nite duty on dat morning, so i was too sleepy and tired to say anything wenenver any of them mizbehave...and mind u, every1 mizbehave at the same time...so can see that the grandmother get so STRESSed with her young grandkids- mohd with his pickyness in his choice of food, danish with his hyper-activeness, sabryna with her pink beg, daniel with his frowning wen he is very HUNGRY, aisha with her "afraid-ness" to pple not to animals, and ayu with her pink hat and her running here and there....it was caotic!!!!!

i cant believe that the grandmother is reading the map with the kidz.....mind u , she is rite with the directions.......

The NITE SafARI

See..as usual, i cant seem to keep my fingers from going to the "backspace" button.....i guess, bad habits dunt die....speaking of habits, i have dis "habit" of sniffing someone else's clothes....its the perfume smell of the wearer dat im interested in, among other things, wink-wink!!!...i suppose its kinda true wen i was told to work for the police as a "sniffer"....can put my special "gift" to an even better use...

Few days ago, i wen to the nite safari and i was blown away by the animals there because 10 years ago,i think, the animals were fast asleep but now....they are AWAKE and HUNGRY!!!!!...i suppose the trick is to keep them fasted till the opening hours.????..wen we took the tram, i saw most of the animals were busy eating....the hyenas were as usual, constantly restless, pacing back and forth while the lions were about to have their nite snooze....it was so happen that the safari was celebrating "Halloween" and yup, there were "ghosts" with legs, roaming among the "alive" ones, scaring them.......after the tram trip, we decided on walking a short trail....at the start of the trail, i saw parts of dummies placed here and there among the bushes and trees....it was kinda scary since it was dark and these images played the craziness tricks in my mind...little did i noe, dat there were "alive ghosts" hiding, waiting to pounce on the visitors....wat can i say, i screamed my heads off wen these pple were paid to do their scaring "bits"....i easily joined in with the choir of "screamers".........that nite hailed the shocking revelation that i have A good set of lungs.....

"BACKspace"

Yesterday, i was reminded by Ms Ikea to update my "news" since she is relying on my blog to be updated on my "happenings" and to have some sniff of my " thoughts"....the problem lies in my inability to stop myself from erasing the sentences or paragraphs.....the "backspace" button is too accessible.... if only the "backspace" button is also accessible in life..erasing the incidents dat u dunt wish to be reminded and dat u can relive the moments in ur way.... i wish dat everyone have a "backspace" button in them so dat whatever unpleasant stuffs dat they heard or have thoughts of, can be "removed" completely.....as dat would steer away them from making assumptions whether out of good intentions or not.....

StiTCh.....

We all want to fall in love. Why?Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,where every sense is heightened,and every emotion is magnified.Our everyday reality is shattered and we are flung into the heavens.It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon,but that doesn't diminish its value,because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.- From the movie "The Mirror Has Two Faces" -(starring Barbara Streisand)

Back n Butts

....this picture was taken after the last dive......scrambling to de-assembling the gears before we reach back to the jetty......trying to get watever that is ours into our gear begs....i always find it hard to find my fins and the weight belt coz i wont notice where the "abang" placed them before i made the torturing climb up into the boat.. the oxygen tank is so heavy .............i lost my hair-band again!!!!!! hope dat the fishes dunt think dats fooooood!!

Musical Chairs, the Spicy Village

We can never be too old to play this GAME........i had my share of holding on to every chair and pushing the person infront of me to walk faster, Sory......i was too excited....

Mz 32, 31 n 30......

Love... Four letter word, That means so much, To the ones in, And out of love as well. To find the rite one, Require lots of patience, He may be sitting, standing next to u, Wondering if u are the rite one too. When u think u hav found the one, U dun wan to leave from cloud nine, As everything is beautiful, Even shit smell and taste good too. To be love by someone, Is a gift. To love someone, It’s like rainbow after the rain. Love can be bitter, Love can be sweet, Love can be sour, Love can be beautiful. It’s a bummer when it didn’t last, When u hav put your heart n soul, Ur inner most energy, To be in dis someone's heart and mind. Do not despair, Do not be discourage, There are other fishes in the sea, In the pond, in the lake, In the stream. As long as u dun give up, Finding the man, Of your dream.

Pulau Tioman...Diving trip

..........it was an "intense" physical and mental "torture" during the diving trip......But it was fun towards the end of each day.....the 3 silly gals, somehow, manage to get their act together to jump into the sea, with the mask and fins only......we literally exchange looks of fear to each other before the jump, wen we got to noe dat our BCDs will be thrown to the sea, without us hook to them.......because seriously, we are not dat good of a swimmer so the idea of DROWNING is HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!........but kudos to us, we survive..........regarding the bleeding thingy....i had nose bleed for all the 5 dives i did., but the amount of blood was smaller on the last 2 dives....i was grateful dat there was no nurse shark for each time i was bleeding.....but seriously, in the midst of trying to get the fins moving "gracefully" and maintaining the buoyancy, trying hard not to crack anymore of the corals and landed myself onto the sea-urchins, experiencing the intense bilateral ear pain due to the difference in the pressure, the "people" in the sea are BEAUTIFUL......oooouuccchhhh...my left ear is aching...........................SKY DIVING NEXT!!!!!

Keep Swimming..Swimming...

i should be packing by now for 2morrow diving trip...but as usual, im be doing it 2morrow morning.......the idea of swimming into the huge "aquarium", is WOW.....but wats going to freak me out even more is being tested on the core diving skills somewhere in Tioman sea, before i get a "pass"....i still dunt noe how to get rid of water from the mask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......must be positive like Dory, "keep swimming, swimming"........

MiliJu TE

The other nite, there was dis beautiful elderly lady who came back from hip surgery at 2 in the morning, started to pack her things because she wanted to go home...her reason was dat her husband gave her clear instructions to come home immediately after she had collected her medication from the hospital.......So sweet rite?? even if the altered mental status dat she had, could be due to the post-anesthesia, its got to be one of the priceless instructions given to her by her late husband.......she must be thinking dat her husband is very worry dat she havent come home and dat she have disobey him....i had to be the "bad" misi to stop her from going back home to her lovely "memories".... she was cursing and swearing at me.....i was like dat few days ago.......but mine was "stabbed" at someone who is very much alive, helpless and miserable as me, even more......i failed to think of the other side of the coin ....have to find other means to breathe with an empty tank, every day......i noe u too.....MELIJU TE

always.......

BeautifuL SOUL

........2 days ago while i was on the way to work, as i was walking towards the A&E department, i noticed a small commotion...a doctor and 2 nurses came out from their hectic P1 area to the ambulance bay, attending to someone in a cab...i was suspecting a lady in labour at the passenger seat but why was it dat the medical personnel's are strangely "calm".....den as my path and the view of the taxi crossed...i was seriously troubled by wat i saw.....i saw a malay lady in maybe late 30s to early 40s...sitting "calmly" with her eyes closed, cradling a naked baby...a very pale looking infant with puffy closed eyes....my tears and heart wen out to the lady dat was cradling him...all my innate senses tells me dat the baby is not with us any more and the lady must have realized dat too...so did the taxi driver who must have felt very helpless....i wonder how their paths crossed??? wen i reached the ward, obviously late....the image of him was very much pronounced though-out the shift of dat day till today..............

Very ClueLESS ME

yipppeee....i got the pics already.....i dunt noe how to post more then one pics..so i have selected dis one.....n i have sign up for the DIVING!!!!!! going at the end of the month...will be back a day before fasting starts.....wat irony!!!!! Now i need to make "friends" with the swimming pool as i be having a pool session soon.....how to swim wen i dunt remember the leg sequence..im so neurotic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(0)(0)

...........i can hear the brain of someone working in Ikea, wondering yet again, why i havent sleep yet!!!!!!!! i did try to sleep like 2 hours ago but failed yet again....pls do not fret as its quite "normal" for me to sleep damn late even though i need to wake up at 5am for morning duty...den again, im ushering "Nurse's Day"...so its not a waste of the restless sleep of yesterday....:) alot is in my mind now...but noting too serious i must think...as compare to others..........i will have the make-over pictures and CD later today....n the diving course dat i will be registering today too.....looks like i be diving with the fishes and watever mammals in 3 weeks time....hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm..i wonder if i can contain my "panic-ness" under-sea......... (0)(0)

CaNt SLeeP...THinkiNG..

Here is something i wrote while waiting to do a role play...

Thinking far, it a good habit to have, even if its my flaw. 2 try 2 find, a place 2 fit myself, always impossible, may never happen at all. Dunt noe if im being unrealistic, if yes, why am i thinking with worry and sadness?.........

any way....

2day lesson starts with getting everyone in class to share their number of experience in nursing and what made them choose to be a nurse in the first place.....the longest is 27 years and shortest is 2 years.....my "marriage" to nursing has been 11 years n so far i dunt have the inkling to ask for any "divorce" yet...to date, i have been tendering It with lots of love and tears...my responsibilities are "solid"...now dat im planning to progress on to a new role....alot of changes and sacrifices i have to make along the way.....but am i ready???? will my "marriage" which i have put my sweat in, will be protesting???? even if an opportunity is knocking on the door, asking to be accommodated in Now as the fear of being a "memory" will happen if cannot merged "ritely".. i seriously wan to do the rite thing but den, doing the wrong ones seems to be the rite decision......

Patience differs in individuals, mine is of no exception too

ANger and ME

i just deleted a posted entry because it was written in so much anger and frustration...i even rattle about wanting to hit on the library PC for being far too slow and an inkling to start a nasty conversation with an innocent young man, who was sitting beside me, making strange "noises" dat was too much for me to bear.......so much of anger in a petite me...accumulation, wat can i say...i kinda "lost" it today...there wasnt anything physical for me to lash on and i cant be screaming my hearts out because i was at a public place....it was almost similar amount of anger that had me lashed on someone close, many years ago......my anger was so bad dat i regrettably pulled the hair and set the tea flying......i was so lucky that i didnt get a BAD physical counter-act...n i suppose i wouldn't have cared if there was....but the act was witness by 3 others who were as shocked as me!!!!!! i dunt want to dwell on dat too much because there are issues that i still have not resolve with myself....let me continue to jog "away", too much of hurt........so 2day, the conflicting of opinions, with not much of understanding from the other party, pressed very much on my anger pressure points.....not able to accommodate my views on a matter of safety......i suppose there are other reasons dat im not aware off..........watever-lah.........i had my 2 packets of durians, i have 2 more........ :)

Poses!!!!!!!!!

Today was THE Make-Over session i arranged for my galfrens n me....... it was a good reason for a "perk-me up" day for the 3 of us who have had some emotionally tiring days/weeks before...mind u, i recently "grew" 2 pimples on 2 different days for 2 different reasons....so i kindda highlighted "them" to the make-up cum hair-stylist person to do some cover-ups...make-up foundations and eye-liner thingy, do have its POWER!!!!!!....chose the group session den individual because i was thinking dat with group picture taking, our different personality can be capture easily....And it DID.......i love the CANDID SHOTS, they r the BESt!!!!!!!!!!..we became comfortable soon after...n did our self-directed POSES!!!!!!!!!! it was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! kudos for the photographers....we were shock dat one of the Photographer's wife worked in NUH OT.....MISI IRIS, we noe where ur Hubby work!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Then as expected,we had some problems in choosing 12 Poses from the lovely 90+ poses...................and YES, christine, there was a Fan blowing at us, some point in the shots for better "WIND_Blowing" effect........but it was switched off due to the Cold drift......we need to wait for 2 wks for the printed outs and the CD......i still have the fake eye-lashes with me..shall keep them safe....im amazed at how we look with make-up.....

SAlaLAH...

i have a close friend who is constantly battling within herself with her love-life decisions...there are so many moments that she wan to "throw in the towel"............2day and few days after will be exceptionally hard on her because her "other half" will be driving off to a place without her.....a place that she plan to go with him initially.....miskin......but seriously, how to have a tiny bite of a cake wen u cant and wont seems to have a chance to taste the cake in the first place as the cake was baked by someone else.................found dis poem in the web, seems true to wat she been feeling, constantly..............dunt cry crabby....

Do you know a secret ? I write you letters every day. But you know that I can't post them, I wish there was another way. You are so close, but yet so very, very far, because there is a chasm between us, you can't just drive there in a car. So now I'm the "other woman", stuck at home while you go out, left wondering what the hell, what is this all about ? You know I love you madly, and I believe you love me too, but this is so very hard, do you know what I'm going through ? I lay alone and awake at night, thinking of you lying there with your wife, it is then I wish it was different, it is then that I wish for a different life. And then I dream about us together, as I finally drift off to sleep, and in that dream we don't make promises, that we don't think that we can keep.............................

Sunday, the 13-7- 2008

" to my better half "....isnt dat wat most of us, both single and some married souls, are searching for.....be it around a corner or under a pebble....the next guy or gal dat one wen on a date with, may not need to be in almost similar "measurement" as the previous failed ones....i met someone today whose smiles and endearing glances to my galfren, make me laugh with tears in my eyes...it is dat simple yet meaningful body-language dat EVERYONE need to receive....this reminded me of a simple act by a husband whose wife was adamant not to take her medication..seeing dat she was getting more worked-up, the husband kissed her gently on her forehead...she calm down immediately....my heart cried..........earlier today, someone's 2 mins plea for a longer conversation had to be spoiled with an acknowledgment of someone into the conversation........it hurts to hear the constant and silent reminder of where she is.................happy 31 birthday to me......

"HOme ALone"

i did something today dat i wasnt proud off...i used a delifrance paper bag, crush it up on the phone receiver to make a noisy effect..i did it because i didnt wan to hear anymore to wat the person on the other line have to say...wen the person thought that the line was breaking-up, it was my cue to stop the conversation..(so it does work!!) im very aware that dis person would find me and wan to explain further..which she did, 2 hours later..through-out the one-sided "yakking', i was thinking of educating her of the rite choice of coloured contact lenses that best suit her..which is BLACK!!... im not surprise if there are others who ever did or have thoughts of doing, dis kind of "stunt" or "prank" on her.....I guess i need to watch "HOME ALONE" movies again for more inspiration.......

EiGhTY-Six ThoUsaNd and FouR HunDreD DOllarS

Imagine this...if u won a contest and the prize is that every morning a bank will open an account in your name containing eighty-six thousand four hundred singapore dollars. And there are 2 rules that u have to follow- the first rule is that everything that u fail to spend is taken from u that nite. You cant cheat, u cant switch the unspent money to another account, u can onli spend it. But wen u wake next morning, and every morning after dat, the bank opens new account for u and always eighty-six thousand four hundred dollars, for dat day. Rule no 2 is that the bank can break off the game without warning...it can tell u at any time dat its over, dat its closing the account and there wont be another one...so wat would u do???????? Its a huge sum of money and most of us will be spending and giving out money.....but the magic bank account is actually describing TIME..A big account filled with fleeting SECONDS..Let me explain--Every morning wen we wake up, our account for the day is credited with eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds and wen we went to sleep every nite, there wont be carryover into the next day..wat hasnt been lived during the day is lost, yesterday has vanished!!..Every morning, the magic begins again with a new line of credit of eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds...But the bank can also close the account at any time and without any warning.....wat dat mean is at any moment, life can end......so with our daily ration of eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds, dunt sit or sleep or argue or worry...........but rather to make the most of ALL the seconds that we have LeFT..... So 2day, i spent 3 quarter of my account with helping out in a seminar, eating full share of delicious lunch with colleagues, ride the FLYER in the evening with ward colleagues and friends...and a quality dinner date filled with tears and laughter.....on top of dat, i made 2 quick phone calls to pass my birthday greetings to a 100 year old "elderly" man who is on a very long vacation......dat was the icing on my chocolate cup-cake i had today.........OMRI.......